You know you're white trash when...

Just a little something that put a smile on my face this morning:

December 24 HOURS - VANCOUVER

Not sure if your Christmas constitutes as "white trash?" Well, if the following description sounds remotely familiar, you might want to start saving up for that trailer home now.
You show up for Christmas dinner and ...

Your mom greets you with a warm, "Oh, I see you haven't made it to the gym in a while." That's when your brother chimes in with, "still single?" Judging by the lipstick on her teeth and the rum stains on his dollar-store Santa suit, the family has got a huge head-start on you. You feel the need to self-medicate ASAP.

Then your obese sister from the sticks shows up with her delinquent teenage daughter, who shows off her barbed wire tattoos, but tries in vain to hide her suspiciously protruding belly (a fact everyone will ignore till her water breaks six months later).

Your sister insists on asking everyone in the room if her Cotton Ginny jogging suit makes her look fat. Everyone stares at the floor in silence.
Awkward.

Later, your gay uncle shows up with his wife and "best friend" Tom.
At which point, your other uncle (a former regular on To Serve and Protect), starts making homophobic remarks. This is to deflect the attention from his own extramarital indiscretions ... with the nanny.

An old family friend joins the festivities. He brings his new girlfriend, which is enough for Grandma to launch into her "Chinese-people-can't-drive" rant. Grandma's never driven a day in her life and the girlfriend is Korean.

You try to cut her off, but she hits you back with her old standby, "Well, I'll be gone for good soon enough and then you won't have to listen to me ever again."
This is the first of many guilt trips she'll unleash before she eventually passes out from one too many G&Ts.

Speaking of which, it's time to top up your drink. But your mom intercepts. "Don't you think you've had enough," she says, slurring every word.

Brother escapes to the garage to smoke up.

Dinner's ready.

ADD nephew plays his Nintendo DS throughout the whole meal. Niece refuses to eat a single bite of Butterball without ketchup. She excuses herself to hack a butt.

In lieu of Grace, a fight breaks out about Linden being captain.

Grandma gets a second wind and threatens to bolt if there's no Stovetop Stuffing, so gay uncle and Tom volunteer to go to the store.

That's the last you'll see of them all night.

After dinner, your brother pins you down to the ground and lets one of his hot & steamy turkey specials rip right in your face.

Merry Christmas!

Sorry ...

I cant seem to stay on top of my blog if my life depend on it! Things have been SO busy this past month. Since my last post things have been moving at warp speed. And look at it now - Christmas is actually around the corner - Just 8 more sleeps till Santa!

So lets see ... where to start:

Well, I flew back home for the fastest visit I have ever been on! But it was well worth it. I got to witness two of my most favorite people tie the knot, I met some awesome new, little people and got to spend some much needed time with my family.

I took a few pics of the events so here you go for your viewing pleasure:

Kel and Mike Get Hitched!

Erin Meets the Babies!

And once I got back to Vancouver, its been Go, GO, GO!!

Went away to Whistler for the weekend on the 1st/2nd for the Annual Toyota Christmas Party and a few runs on the Mountain.

Sadly, I needed some major help with my new ski gear as my boots were causing me an UNREAL amount of pain ... but thanks to the Boot God at CanSki I managed to get a few more runs in before calling it a day and hitting the bar!

The Christmas Bash managed to squelched any pain I was suffering thanks to the never ending table wine and good time spent with Friends. Feel free to take a look at the weekends events HERE

However, all fun and game ended on the ride home ... A huge snowstorm blew in off the coast and basically closed down the entire Sea to Sky highway, on which we were stuck. For hours ... it should usually take about 2 hours TOPs to get home from Whistler ... but on this fine day it took 8 HOURS!!! Thank god we had a huge brekkie with Jer and Am to fuel our bellies since we didnt get a chance to eat again for 7 hours. Nothing in the car, no water, no food and no where to go. HERE you can see the adventure first hand. But we got home, safe and sound and STARVING - lol!

The following weekend was more parties and more drinking! Phil and I took in my first ever Cushman & Wakefield LePage Christmas Party and what an event that was. It was held at an awesome restaurant in Yaletown and the open bar was a huge hit lol! Great time had by all - AS seen HERE

After all that partying - we could feel the festive spirit and decided it was time to put up our Christmas tree and decked our halls!

This past weekend was a long, hard one full of home renos! Phil and I got the keys to his new condo on Friday and started on the process of making the pad ours! The plan is to basically gut it ... well, sort of. We managed to get all the carpet up and out (FYI: pulling up tack strips are a BITCH), we got the main room and halls painted and the bedroom got its first coat of new paint too. We are getting the new floors laid down on Tuesday and are actually moving in on the 27th! Check out the pics from this weekends adventures HERE

So over all, the past three weeks have been super busy times here needless to say!

Now its crunch time - We're heading off for a much needed vacation for a few days to Seattle and Mt. Baker for some skiing and then back to Vancouver for Christmas and then BOOM - Moving Day!

Before you know it, it will be 2008 .... where has the year gone?